Where to begin? I’ve been so busy
these past couple months that this is the first time I’ve actually had
a chance to sit down and write. Well, when I left off, we had just
started enjoying the summer. We spent our weekends going to various
places like the pool, outdoor movies, concerts, parties, and so on.
Then in mid-August, we celebrated Chris’s 29th birthday at Krause
Springs. Since then, we’ve been occupied with being a part of our
friends’ wedding, traveling to Atlanta, going to both of our 10 year
high school reunions, getting together with friends, and taking on a
major patio renovation project.
Although it feels like we’ve been doing a lot, as Ashni gets older, it’s getting much harder to be as spontaneous as we used to be. A few months ago, she was perfectly content to nurse and nap in her carrier while we stayed out as late as we pleased. But she’s gotten too big for that now and it’s not pleasant for anyone when she’s up way past her bedtime. And yes we do have a bedtime for her as we’ve begun to loosely follow a schedule. Our previous system of nap/nurse every couple hours held up well for awhile, but as of now, she needs a bit more than that.
This shift started when Ashni turned 6 months old in August. With her being a super fast crawler, she was getting harder to share a bed with. Not only was she tossing and turning like crazy at night, she was also getting up and crawling around. I’d bolt up numerous times each night to pull her away from the foot of the bed. Also, we’d have to tiptoe around the room or lay somewhat still in an effort to not make the bed creak. Nights had turned into a tiresome game of waking each other up. Chris and I were ready for Ashni to move into the crib, but she didn’t want to go anywhere near it. In fact, regardless of how tired she was, she would refuse to fall asleep in it and would cry until we took her out. And if we laid her down already asleep, she’d wake up within an hour and be beyond upset about finding herself in there. Also, she hadn’t started solids yet and was always ravenous at night. During the day she would get too distracted to get a good feed in and would try to make up for it in bed. But she was no longer falling asleep during these night long nursing sessions so none of us slept as a result. We hoped that starting solids would help, so on August 18, we held her Annaprashan, or First Rice Ceremony. In Indian culture, a baby’s first time eating solid food is a pretty big deal, so we invited some friends over and made a whole bunch of Indian food. When giving Ashni a little taste of everything, we used the same silver spoon that my mom used for me 27 years ago. And at the end of the ceremony, we had Ashni crawl towards a blanket of objects to symbolize her future career. From the book, pen, cash, and potted plant, she chose the book. I suppose that means we have a little scholar on our hands!
From that day forward, in addition to breast milk every few hours, we would feed her organic baby rice cereal and mashed fruit three times a day. But contrary to what the pediatrician and parenting books said, tanking her up on solids did not make her a better sleeper. So the following weekend, we attended a seminar on baby sleep solutions. We were hoping for no/low cry advice, but were told it would do us no good. The sleep consultant and our pediatrician insisted on using the interval (or Ferber) sleep training method, something I was vehemently opposed to. Ultimately, Chris and I agreed to do it, but only halfway. The method basically involves doing some sort of bedtime routine and then putting the tired baby in the crib and leaving. The baby cries and after 10-15 minutes, the parents return to soothe the baby for a minute before leaving again. This is repeated until the baby finally cries to sleep (1-2 hours in our case) and then again when the baby wakes up however many times in the middle of the night. Supposedly after a week of this, the baby will fall asleep without crying when placed in the crib.
Well, when we started, it was instantly obvious why this is so controversial. It violates every natural instinct in your being. When your baby just wants to be in your arms, it feels beyond cruel to not let them. And I couldn’t stand to let Ashni cry for that long in a 24 hour stretch of time (it just seemed extremely unhealthy) so our halfway version of Ferberizing involved having her cry it out in the crib only at bedtime. Then when she’d awaken for her late night feedings, I’d pull her back into our bed where she’d stay until the morning. During the day, I would try the crib again, but if it looked like she was going to cry for the entirety of her naptime, I’d put her in the swing so she could get some sleep. Come eight or nine o’ clock at night, though, she wasn’t given that luxury and we fought it out. This went on for a few weeks, but we slowly got her acclimated to falling asleep and staying asleep in the crib. Also, I eventually started nursing her in her room for her night feedings, and she’d fall back asleep in the crib when she finished. I then started phasing out the swing for daytime naps, and as of now, with Ashni at 8 months old, we can finally say we have a crib sleeper.
The sleep transition isn’t the only big thing we’ve been through these last few months. As of September 13, I resigned my job of six years and officially became a full-time mom. Over the summer it became increasingly difficult to manage Ashni and I realized that she was only going to require more attention as time went on. It perpetually felt like I was falling short. Either I was neglecting work or my little girl or Chris or myself. It got to the point where we hired a nanny to help out part time, but I still wasn’t getting as much work done as I wanted to and I was constantly stressed out. For my own happiness and sanity, I reassessed my priorities and finally made the difficult decision to put in my notice. The hardest part of it all was leaving behind an amazing boss and good work environment. Not a lot of people have that and it kept me hanging on. But now that I’m done, I am happier than I thought possible. I’m finally able to appreciate what I have and devote my time to what matters, guilt-free.
The funniest part about this new job of mine is that I don’t really have that much more free time. Before I resigned, I kept thinking about all the things I could do at home. But the reality is that Ashni keeps me super busy. She gets up at seven in the morning and between feeding her and cleaning up and playing with her and putting her down for a nap and repeating it all, my day just flies by and I find myself wondering what happened. But I don’t think I’d have it any other way right now.
Although it feels like we’ve been doing a lot, as Ashni gets older, it’s getting much harder to be as spontaneous as we used to be. A few months ago, she was perfectly content to nurse and nap in her carrier while we stayed out as late as we pleased. But she’s gotten too big for that now and it’s not pleasant for anyone when she’s up way past her bedtime. And yes we do have a bedtime for her as we’ve begun to loosely follow a schedule. Our previous system of nap/nurse every couple hours held up well for awhile, but as of now, she needs a bit more than that.
This shift started when Ashni turned 6 months old in August. With her being a super fast crawler, she was getting harder to share a bed with. Not only was she tossing and turning like crazy at night, she was also getting up and crawling around. I’d bolt up numerous times each night to pull her away from the foot of the bed. Also, we’d have to tiptoe around the room or lay somewhat still in an effort to not make the bed creak. Nights had turned into a tiresome game of waking each other up. Chris and I were ready for Ashni to move into the crib, but she didn’t want to go anywhere near it. In fact, regardless of how tired she was, she would refuse to fall asleep in it and would cry until we took her out. And if we laid her down already asleep, she’d wake up within an hour and be beyond upset about finding herself in there. Also, she hadn’t started solids yet and was always ravenous at night. During the day she would get too distracted to get a good feed in and would try to make up for it in bed. But she was no longer falling asleep during these night long nursing sessions so none of us slept as a result. We hoped that starting solids would help, so on August 18, we held her Annaprashan, or First Rice Ceremony. In Indian culture, a baby’s first time eating solid food is a pretty big deal, so we invited some friends over and made a whole bunch of Indian food. When giving Ashni a little taste of everything, we used the same silver spoon that my mom used for me 27 years ago. And at the end of the ceremony, we had Ashni crawl towards a blanket of objects to symbolize her future career. From the book, pen, cash, and potted plant, she chose the book. I suppose that means we have a little scholar on our hands!
From that day forward, in addition to breast milk every few hours, we would feed her organic baby rice cereal and mashed fruit three times a day. But contrary to what the pediatrician and parenting books said, tanking her up on solids did not make her a better sleeper. So the following weekend, we attended a seminar on baby sleep solutions. We were hoping for no/low cry advice, but were told it would do us no good. The sleep consultant and our pediatrician insisted on using the interval (or Ferber) sleep training method, something I was vehemently opposed to. Ultimately, Chris and I agreed to do it, but only halfway. The method basically involves doing some sort of bedtime routine and then putting the tired baby in the crib and leaving. The baby cries and after 10-15 minutes, the parents return to soothe the baby for a minute before leaving again. This is repeated until the baby finally cries to sleep (1-2 hours in our case) and then again when the baby wakes up however many times in the middle of the night. Supposedly after a week of this, the baby will fall asleep without crying when placed in the crib.
Well, when we started, it was instantly obvious why this is so controversial. It violates every natural instinct in your being. When your baby just wants to be in your arms, it feels beyond cruel to not let them. And I couldn’t stand to let Ashni cry for that long in a 24 hour stretch of time (it just seemed extremely unhealthy) so our halfway version of Ferberizing involved having her cry it out in the crib only at bedtime. Then when she’d awaken for her late night feedings, I’d pull her back into our bed where she’d stay until the morning. During the day, I would try the crib again, but if it looked like she was going to cry for the entirety of her naptime, I’d put her in the swing so she could get some sleep. Come eight or nine o’ clock at night, though, she wasn’t given that luxury and we fought it out. This went on for a few weeks, but we slowly got her acclimated to falling asleep and staying asleep in the crib. Also, I eventually started nursing her in her room for her night feedings, and she’d fall back asleep in the crib when she finished. I then started phasing out the swing for daytime naps, and as of now, with Ashni at 8 months old, we can finally say we have a crib sleeper.
The sleep transition isn’t the only big thing we’ve been through these last few months. As of September 13, I resigned my job of six years and officially became a full-time mom. Over the summer it became increasingly difficult to manage Ashni and I realized that she was only going to require more attention as time went on. It perpetually felt like I was falling short. Either I was neglecting work or my little girl or Chris or myself. It got to the point where we hired a nanny to help out part time, but I still wasn’t getting as much work done as I wanted to and I was constantly stressed out. For my own happiness and sanity, I reassessed my priorities and finally made the difficult decision to put in my notice. The hardest part of it all was leaving behind an amazing boss and good work environment. Not a lot of people have that and it kept me hanging on. But now that I’m done, I am happier than I thought possible. I’m finally able to appreciate what I have and devote my time to what matters, guilt-free.
The funniest part about this new job of mine is that I don’t really have that much more free time. Before I resigned, I kept thinking about all the things I could do at home. But the reality is that Ashni keeps me super busy. She gets up at seven in the morning and between feeding her and cleaning up and playing with her and putting her down for a nap and repeating it all, my day just flies by and I find myself wondering what happened. But I don’t think I’d have it any other way right now.
Hi Subina! Great pictures! I'm Heather and I just wanted to know if you would be willing to answer a question regarding your blog :-) If you could email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com that would be great!
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